Coach:  (At his wits end) This is…. bizarre!  I've heard enough.  Since I'm coachin' this team, I say he plays.  (Rapidly) End of discussion! Over and done with!  Finished!  Kaput!

J.R.:  (Stands and picks up his mitt) Like I said, if he plays, I won't.  (Mocking) End of discussion! Over and done with! Finished!  Kaput!

Coach:  Suit yourself, J.R.! 

J. R.:  (On his way out) You comin' Tom?

Tom: (Walks over to the coach) Is that your final answer? 

Coach:  (Firmly) Final answer.

Tom:  Then I ain't playin' neither. (Follows J.R.)

J.R.:  If you change your mind coach, give me a call.  You got my number.

Tom:  Ditto!

J.R. and Tom leave the stage.

Coach:  (Calls after them) I wouldn't be waitin' by the phone if I were you guys! (Looks at the women)  Are you ladies on the team or not?  Grace?

Grace:  I-I guess so. 

Coach:  Yes or no!

Grace:  (Timid) Yes!

Coach:  Kathy?

Kathy:  I'll stay, but only if that gay guy don't spit in front of me.

Coach:  (Sighs)  You have my word he won't.  Sherry?

Sherry:  I'll stay under one condition…

Coach:  (Long, slow breath) All depends what it is.

Sherry:  Billy Joe Pringle goes. 

Coach: (Incredulous) What?!  Why on earth would I want to get rid of my third baseman?

Sherry:  (Matter-of-fact)  Because he's a prevert! 

Coach:  (Shocked) Pringle's a pre...a pervert?

Sherry:  Yep!  Coming off the field last week, he slapped me right on my behind. 

Coach:  Are you sure it wasn't in an "Atta girl" sort of way?  I mean, you did hit a homerun, Sherry.  Maybe it was just his way of saying "Good job!"

Sherry:  (Very defensive)  No it wasn't!  Believe me, I know an "atta girl" slap.  This was more