Impatient:  Forget it!  I'll try the In 'n Out Jesus up the street.  They never make you wait! (Stomps out)
Cashier:  Get a life!  (Phony smile)  May I take your order?

Sunday:  (Gregarious) I'd like to buy five dollars worth of Jesus.  (Counts out three dollars, then suddenly stops and says…)  Five dollars won't make me a fanatic or anything, will it?  I cannot allow Jesus to drastically alter my lifestyle.  I'm willing to go to church on Sunday--but no Bible studies or prayer meetings.  Will five dollars cover it?! 

Cashier:  Yes.  For five dollars you'll get just enough of Jesus to get you through those pearly arches into heaven.

Sunday: (Smiles) Perfect!

Cashier:  For fifty cents you can have human compassion--

Sunday:  No!  Five dollars worth of Jesus is all I need!  (Turns to the person behind her and says…) If I have human compassion the next thing you know I'll be visiting inmates in prison, taking food to shut-ins, or volunteering at church, even helping the poor!  Who has time for that?! 

Christian:  Hardly anyone anymore.

Cashier: (To Sunday) Here's your receipt.  Your pick up number is 666.
Welcome to McJesus.  May I take your order?

Christian:  Yes, I'd like the real Jesus please.

Cashier:  We have three versions of Jesus.  Will that be number 1, 2 or 3?

Christian:  Three versions of Jesus?  That's not possible.

Cashier:  Anything's possible at McJesus.  Here you can have Jesus your way. 

Christian:  (Shocked) My way?  I don't want Jesus my way.  I want the one true Jesus.  You know, the Jesus in the Bible. 

Cashier:  (Gets it) Oh, the Bible Jesus.  Sorry, but you've come to the wrong place for that.  Try McBible Bookstore. 

Christian:  McBible Bookstore?

Cashier:  Yeah, it's down the street, between Heaven and Hell. 

A customer enters and stands behind Christian.

Christian: I know the area.  But I never go there.

Cashier: You should try it.  At  McBible there are 57 different varieties of the Good Book to choose from. 

Christian: Sounds confusing.

Cashier. Variety is the spice of life, honey. 

Diversity: There's a diversity of biblical interpretations contained in books about the Bible.  (Christian

(Continued on page 289)